My grandpa died. I still cant find a job, which is different from being able to find work. I can find work, but I have a family, I need a job. I dont want to work for 2-3 months and then be back in the same situation or have to work in some shit industry like hospitality/service industry. We got a 5-day notice that the eviction process will begin in 5-days. And sadly, the list goes on. Everything is just complete poop. I contemplate suicide on a daily basis.
Not to take anything away from the situation it seems you have been dealt with in your IRL (been there done that myself not too long ago actually, as I'm sure most all of us have gone through at some point or another in our lives). But, that quoted text above sure is a bit disturbing to read. At least for me anyway. Hopefully that was only just the heat of the moment so-to-speak that got you to write something like that but nothing more. Get some help (and I don't mean this in any mean or rude way either!). Situations in IRL can sometimes get really bad and feel super terrible (like I said before, I went through a similar situation myself back at the start of this year where I had lost family members and my IRL was just going to shit, and it just felt like everything was all going against me, and felt like everyone was picking on me, etc. because of my situation), but it should honestly never get so bad that it makes one to even think or post what you did in the quoted text above..
My condolences about your Gramdpa, Im sure he lived a fascinating life! Now listen very carefully to this next part ddebrazza! Sometimes it feels like the world is against you and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but this too shall pass. You have a family now, and your kid is going to adore you regardless of how much money you have. Take care of the immediate issues I mentioned in the other thread. One by one you can knock down these walls. Its overwhelming some times, but you have made it this far, and you can keep going!
Unfortunately, as you know our current situation, I can not just go seek mental treatment at this time. If I were to do that then all of a sudden my wife, who is dumber than a box of rocks, would be stuck to deal with the eviction process and moving everything on her own. Not to mention she couldnt even qualify for any where to live on just her income. So if I take myself out of the picture right now, it really really fucks shit up. I took a xanax this morning and that helped at least calm me for a few minutes. Otherwise its just intense stress all day long. I really dont know how much more I can take.
Im not picky about the job. I dont want to be outside in the heat, due to medical conditions which flare up in high heat. I have been in warehousing and shipping/receiving my entire adult life but I am not sure I want to spend the rest of my life doing that, so I am 100% open to a career change and a new opportunity. I am a hardworker, reliable, I learn quickly and I dedicate myself to my work.... I am just way behind the 8-ball because I spent 9 years of my life as a heroin addict, homeless in Philadelphia.
Start from the bottom, everyone does. A positive attitude, (and I understand that is hard to hear right now in your current situation) and hard, consistent approach to daily work will get you to where you envision yourself. In addition, an everyday job, even if shitty will begin setting your self-esteem and motivation on upward trend. Start by putting pen to paper and where you want to end up, how you are feeling, what the plan is for the short-term and long-term. Take a walk when you feel anxious and remember, tomorrow is always a better day, blah, blah, blah... but this is true. And as the gentleman said above, this too shall pass. Respect the mother of your children... your kid picks up on this and a lot more than we ever know.
Well said andrew lol . You all good head on your shoulders i like the positively .sorry im not always ill try not to let myself get bothered by it . I agree on andrew about respect the mother hes right. .
@ddebrazza I'm an old guy and I tend to stay in my lane I have looked at this thread a few times and decided to share a few things with you, you might not like some of the things I'm going to say and a few might not agree also but here goes. The passing of your Grandpa which you adore is hard may he "rest in peace" (meaning if you f**k up he'll be pissed at you). Mental health is a serious issue get as much help as possible break down doors to get it if you have to cause nobody will do it for you so advocate for yourself. About your girl you should have known after 6 months to a year whether it's a good fit or not but you got a kid with her so who is dumb as rocks that's you. What you might want to do is sit with her and find her strong points and nurture it trust me on this one and she will find her groove and blossom. The first 5 to 6 years of a kid life is where the foundation is made and all the kid should experience is loving and protective parents, material things the kid have no concept of, an ice cream here and there geez you are the greats thing there is dad. Job situation dude do anything to put a roof and food on the table you will be respected for that and along the road you will find the ideal career with help from someone you least expect when you bump into that person. Last but not least stay away from the markets on a daily basis pick 2-3 stocks study it's movement, paper trade for a bit till you can just look at it's chart and you know what it will do next. Chasing the market is not a good thing let the trade or long position come to you cause at the end of day you see your bank account you don't see anyone else you also you see your own play.
Our story with the kid is fucked up. Neither one of us thought we could medically even have children. We had both tried our whole lives and been unsuccessful. She got pregnant the first time we had sex and this was about 1 month after we met each other. So about 2.5 months into our relationship and knowing eachother, BAM were having a baby, and then about 1 month later BAM, Pandemic and Lockdown. I didnt even really get to know her until we were basically already giving birth. Ive made the best of it. Weve had honest and open discussions about how she just doesnt fulfill me intellectually and in many other ways. I dont call her dumb to be mean. Its the truth. Like she falls for scams on the internet all the time. Like I legit fear when she is on the internet looking for apartments or shopping. She had a very sheltered life in some tiny Iowa town and just never got exposed to anything. She doesnt know how to cook, doesnt really know anything. Has no hobbies, no interests.... But I have stuck around and tried to be a good husband and father. We have discussed "open," relationships so that I can stay in my sons life and still support her and him. She goes back and forth on being comfortable and accepting of this "polyamorous," relationship that I desire if I am to stay with her. Anyways. Its just all fucked up and I dont know how much more I can take.
my condolences about your grandpa. I know that things seem terrible right now but I don’t doubt that they will change. I believe that you are an incredible person, and you will turn this around.
Thank you. I dont know. I got a pretty shitty job right now but at this point, I have got to do what I got to do in order to make sure my wife and son are not homeless. Hopefully I can interview and find a better job while I at least have something coming in.
If you live in Albuquerque NM drop me a line and I can get you an interview immediately through my brother in law.
Unfortunately I do not. I need something that I can turn into a career. I am 33 with a family. I plan on taking a "weed break," so I can apply to some better quality positions. 75% of the positions that I was turned down for was because of Marijuana use, which seems to be a lawsuit waiting to happen since Marijuana is now legal for adult use in my state. I really want to do research into Pre-Employment Drug Testing. How it started. Why it started. Etc. I feel like it should be scrapped. Obviously if some accident or incident occurs, then drug testing would be applicable. But denying people employment because they use streets drugs is dumb. Especially when Oxycontin and prescribed drugs are fine. Employers do not turn you down if you have a prescription for Morphine or Adderal. But if you take the street equivalents, you are bared from being employable and forced into making money under the table or on the black market. It really is sickening how these Anti-Drug Policy's drive people into poverty and force them to work bullshit jobs. I want to start a petition to end Pre-Employment Drug Screening. At least for Cannabis.
